You may have won American Idol, Jordin Sparks, but I know Kelly Clarkson, and you are no Kelly Clarkson.

Maybe this means Blake will be available to work as my personal pocket pop star.

Ah, well... Another season has ended...and another blog must now replace this one. Also, be sure to check out my Reality TV and Britney Spears blogs!!!

Until next season, boys and girls, goodbye!!!  =)

Poor Blake was set up for failure last night!!! Not only did they make him sing a song that was totally not his style and much better suited for Jordin, they made him sacrifice what little street cred he had. The site of that poor little pop-hipster trying to sell "This is My Now" made me cringe. Did you see how fast the songwriters sat down? Even they were embarrassed.

At the end of every season, American Idol takes a one way trip to Cheese City. At least Blake looked unhappy while boarding the plane.

It's down the the final 2 on American Idol!!! Tonight, we will watch Blake beat box for his life against teen tart Jordin.

My vote goes to whoever can keep me awake for more than 5 minutes.

Please no ABBA songs or repeat performances, I beg of you.

Dear America,

I've supported you through your many questionable voting decisions, but there are some things I cannot stand for. Melinda was a true patriot and you threw her away like yesterday's Antonella Barba.

I didn't blink when you voted for Sanjaya. I recognized that he had that special something, and I embraced him. But, now, you have gone too far.

Melinda was the Tina to your Ike. And, you slapped her with your collective pimp hand.

Sincerely,

Almost Famous

Last night, the Idols put on another night of mediocre entertainment. I thought they were going to change it up this year. Songwriting contests? Kill the singers who are voted off? But, no. They stuck to the same old formula of generic teenagers singing stupid old songs.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

BTW, I still love Melinda, but she repeated a song from a previous performance, so she's dead to me...until tonight.

(This picture is an American Idol party favor kit. Good times.)

It's down to three contestants on American Idol and tonight's the night Melinda Doolittle's going to stop handing out gum and start kicking ass!

The other two contestants are Jordin and Blake. I like Blake. As I've said before, I would like to carry him in my pocket and bring him to parties to beat box on the table. But, he's just not as professional as Melinda.

I also like Jordin, but unfortunately, I don't think she's that memorable. But, she's just a youngin', so maybe she will mature into a beautiful flower.

Regardless of who wins, they better bring it. That's right, it. If you don't know what it is, you're no American Idol.

Last night, Phil Stacey and Chris Timberlake were sent home on Idol, leaving a lone wee lad in the final four. Blake must now beat box for all men. But, first, he should dye his hair back to blond. He's not nearly as dreamy with brown hair.

American Idol had an AWESOME show last night. It was basically a telethon, but kudos to them for taking a very public platform to bring attention to some serious issues.

To read more about the charities and donate, go to http://www.americanidol.com!

Also, you can download all of last night's amazing performances at iTunes & all of that money goes to charity too!

Here's the video of Melinda Doolittle's performance on American Idol last night. It was their charity special and it was busy every time I called. I'm sure they made buckets of money. She is so much better than the other contestants. They should all be her back-up singers.

From "The Soup."

Here's the video of him making the little girl cry. She's the only person who understands how I feel about his elimination. =)

Tonight, the top 7 will be mentored by Martina McBride. So, let's celebrate Sanjaya with this hilarious video clip from The Soup, just in case his luscious locks are hidden beneath a cowboy hat. =)

Here is a classic video from the Canadian Idol auditions. I feel so bad for this poor girl. =)

Idol stories are all over the news today. Here are just a few fun facts:

1) Simon Cowell doesn't like the season 6 cast! In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Simon said, "'We're doing as well as we are doing with not a great cast at the moment, to be honest with you. They're not the best bunch of kids we've ever had.''

OUCH! Don't listen to him, Sanjaya!

2) MSNBC is reporting that the Idol contestants only have 1 hour to select their song each week, after listening to a CD with 50-200 songs that fit the category.

3) The same MSNBC article says the performers on the Top 10 tour only get $1,000-$5,000 per show. I think a popular show pony would net more than that.  

...Your 15 minutes are up.

Last night on American Idol, Haley sang her swan song, and it still sounded like bad karaoke.

I feel bad for Haley. At least she'll get to go on the American Idol summer tour before everyone forgets who she is.

I just watched last night's American Idol and I heart Sanjaya's fake facial hair!

His line about romancing J-Lo was hilarious. He's really winning me over with his weirdness.

Everyone watch your DVR tonight because tomorrow...I'm blogging about the results show!

Tonight, the final 8 contestants on American Idol will be mentored by... Jennifer Lopez!

Finally, Sanjaya will see proof that the ability to sing has very little to do with having a successful pop career.

Maybe she'll coach them on starting fragrance lines.

Could it be? Is Sanjaya actually getting better? Methinks his sudden popularity has given everyone's favorite weirdo a much needed boost of confidence.

Last night, he didn't look painfully uncomfortable and even danced with Paula!

I still don't think he should win, but, for entertainment value alone, he's got to outlast Haley and Phil. =)

The Top 9 perform on American Idol tonight, mentored by...Tony Bennet!

Haley better work her magic fast. Seriously, slutty costumes, magic tricks, ponies, the whole 9 yards...

Recent rejectee Chris Sligh is saying he considered quitting American Idol before he was given the boot.

"I never came into this wanting to win it," Sligh told The Greenville News on Thursday. "I made the Top Ten. That was my goal."

To this I say, "Suuuuuuuuuuure."

It's kind of like being fired and replying that you quit. It's just a little too late.

On last night's American Idol, funny guy Chris Sligh was shown the door.

I think this was the right call. His tempo issues were getting really annoying. I mean, even Sanjaya usually sings on the beat, and his hair is way more awesome.

Last night, on American Idol, Sanjaya made us all uncomfortable as he sang a No Doubt song about bathing in old bathwater, while sporting a pony tail fauxhawk.

He's so terrible, but I can't turn away.

I think Gwen Stefani hated him. She actually looked like she was hating herself for being there. Poor Gwen.

My thoughts on the other peeps:

-Melinda was great, as usual, but I didn't think her song fit in with the rest of the show.

-Chris Sligh has completely lost me as a fan. You can't be a singer if you can't sing with the beat.

-Blake was a'ight.

-Haley should just go home now. She's so boring.

Tonight, Gwen perfoms on the elimination show. Hopefully, she'll be happier about that! =)

The top 10 perform on Idol tonight! And, who will be guiding them as they mangle songs from the '90s...Gwen Stefani!

I'm torn...I love her! But, I feel that she shouldn't lower herself to appear on TV with Sanjaya. I would rather not see her than associate her with the lead singer of Herman's Hermits.

Someone must have embarrassing pictures of her.

It turns out the bawling girl on AI last night was 13-year-old Ashley Ferl, American idol's #1 fan.

An 8-year-old crying like that is cute, but 13 seems a little old. Sanjaya should watch out. She's going to hobble him and keep him locked away in a place where only she can style his hair.

Last night, Stephanie was sent home on American Idol.

I think America got it right. She was a good singer, but she was sooooooo boring. She didn't have the X-factor, but she certainly had the Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-factor.

Buh-bye.

Only a step above puppy-kicking, last night's AI brought a little girl to tears.

Did Simon take away her Licorice rope? Rip the head off her Bratz doll? No, it was the soothing sound of Sanjaya butchering a Kinks song that made the young lass sob.

I think the highlights of the night were Melinda and Blake. I love Blake. He has beat boxed his way into my heart.

The Top 11 are performing tonight!

The American Idol website is tight-lipped about the theme, so it's probably something lame like oldies.

I wonder what hairstyle Sanjaya will rock this evening... perhaps a pompadour. That would be so hot.

Brandon Rogers was sent home on AI last night.

I think America got it right this week. He was so boring. At least Sanjaya gives us some hair-styling ideas. Brandon was just boring.

 Last night was boring. I guess I'm not a Diana Ross fan.